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Plugin W. I purposely kept my mom in the dark about the details of my wedding day, because the experience would be a first for both of us, and I wanted her to be surprised. I think she appreciated the gift. View all New York Times newsletters.

A Feminist Critique of Same-Sex Marriage

In the end, it took death to part my parents. When my dad went suddenly three years ago, they had been together 30 years. It was a lifetime more than many of us get with people we vow to love forever. Without a marriage certificate though, my mother wasn't my father's next of kin under the law. As my father's oldest child, it was my say that counted.

Every time I signed another document, it felt as if I were further erasing my mom's role in my dad's life. Or at least helping society to. My dad, an Army vet, had a formal military burial. After taps was played, soldiers folded the flag draped on my father's coffin and presented it to the family. Actually, they handed the flag to me.

I didn't want to take it.

The Marrying Kind?

It should have been presented to my mother, whose lap was empty. But she was not his wife, so the military refused. The idealistic bubble my mom had created for their love collapsed when it rubbed against the real world. No one cared about our weekend bike rides. My mom, my brother and I rode home from the funeral in silence. In a room full of friends and family who had gathered at the house, my mom whispered to me that her only regret was that she never married my dad.

If she had it to do over again, she would have.

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We hadn't spoken about the fact that they weren't married since that day after school when I was My mother's remorse is much larger than flags or funerals. I understand that now. She had believed the world could see the love and commitment that she and my dad shared. But what she didn't grasp sooner is that when you are lucky enough to find a love as strong as she found, you show it off to the world proudly.